When Your Team Delivers But Still Hates You
1. Brutal Opening (From the Gut):
You enter the meeting. Eyes drop.
Slack threads dry up when you join.
No smiles. No jokes. Just cold silence and solid KPIs.
You lead the team. But you're not one of them. And they make sure you feel it.
2. Execution Brief:
What hurts:
You're winning on paper, but losing the room.
You crave respect, and secretly, their approval too.
Where leaders screw it up:
→ Trying to "buy back" likeability with fake cheer
→ Overcompensating with micromanagement or perks
→ Ignoring the tension, hoping results will fix the culture
What to do / say / avoid:
✔️ Own your leadership style, don’t shapeshift to fit in
✔️ Be transparent: “I’m not here to be liked, but I care deeply about this team”
✔️ Invite real feedback, even if it stings
❌ Don’t try to be “cool boss”
❌ Don’t confuse compliance with commitment
Real micro-story:
One VP tripled revenue but lost 4 of her best people. Why?
She never asked why the team winced when she entered the room.
They didn’t hate her. They hated how invisible they felt.
If you only remember one thing:
Great leadership isn’t about being liked.
But about being respected enough to be followed.
3. Action Framework: “The L.E.A.D. Protocol”
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Listen Quietly: One-on-ones, ask: "What’s one thing I do that makes your work harder?"
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Expose Intent: Make it clear: results matter, but so do people
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Align the Energy: Translate team friction into fuel, not fear
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Decide the Line: Know the difference between culture feedback and emotional blackmail
4. One Line That Hurts (Reflective Punch):
If everyone likes your leadership, you’re probably not leading, just blending in.
5. 1-Minute Field Test:
Today, pick one person who clearly keeps their distance.
Privately ask: “Have I done something that made you hold back?”
Shut up. Just listen. Let the awkwardness teach you.
6. Real Question from the Field:
“My team hits goals but avoids me. Do I push, pivot, or back off?”
→ Push for clarity, not popularity.
→ Pivot only if your style kills retention.
→ Back off from ego, not expectations.
7. No-BS Sign-Off:
Not every team will throw you a birthday cake.
But some will follow you into hell if you lead with courage.
Leadership is lonely sometimes. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
Keep walking.
Pawel Pawlak
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-pawel-pawlak/
Zero Bull$hit Leadership: the shit no one teaches in business school, but every real leader faces by Thursday.
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