How to Fire a Good Person (Without Destroying Yourself)
1. Brutal Opening
You stared at the Slack message for 17 minutes.
He just shared his newborn’s photo with the team.
You’ve already scheduled the call to fire him at 4:00.
Your stomach feels like gravel. You hit "Join" anyway.
2. Execution Brief
What hurts:
You’re about to cut someone who gave you their nights, weekends, and loyalty. Not because they failed, but because you failed to make the business work.
Where leaders fuck it up:
→ They make it about them ("This is hard for me too...")
→ They avoid eye contact, hide behind HR
→ They justify, overexplain, or worse, ghost
What to say/do/avoid:
✔️ Be direct.
✔️ Honor their contribution.
✔️Shut up and hold space.
❌ Don’t say “This is harder for me than for you”
❌ Don’t promise favors you won’t follow through on
Real-life playbook moment:
I once gave a top performer the news, and she said: “I gave everything to this job”
I replied: “I know. And I failed to make that count. That’s on me.”
If you only remember one thing:
Firing someone with dignity is not about softening the blow, but about holding the weight with them for a moment.
3. Action Framework: “The C.O.L.D. Protocol”
"The COLD Protocol for Firing Good People"
- Confirm the facts – make damn sure the cut is necessary
- Own the decision – no “we discussed” bullshit, it’s your call
- Let them speak – silence after the news is sacred
- Document dignity – follow up with a reference, intro, or help (only if real)
4. One Line That Hurts (Reflective Punch)
You’re not a good leader because you keep people.
You’re a real one if they still respect you after you let them go.
5. 1-Minute Field Test
Write the goodbye email you wish someone had written for you when you were let go.
Now ask: would you send this to the person you're about to fire?
If not, you’re hiding. Rewrite it.
6. Real Question from the Field
“I had to lay off 3 amazing people. I can’t sleep. How do I deal with the guilt?”
→ Guilt is a receipt. You owe action.
→ Help them land elsewhere. Make intros. Vouch loud.
→ Then stop punishing yourself to feel righteous.
7. No-BS Sign-Off
If you’ve had to fire someone good this year, I see you.
It doesn’t make you heartless. It means you’re carrying something most people never will.
You’re not alone. But don’t pretend it didn’t matter. It did.
Pawel Pawlak
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-pawel-pawlak/
Zero Bull$hit Leadership: the shit no one teaches in business school — but every real leader faces by Thursday.
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